JONMAS!

Hey all,
whutap? So last week was mid-terms. It was pretty dry. I did see the movie avatar in 3-D on the biggest screen in Thailand (in the mall that is right next door to my school... with the ice-skate disco and the bowl-club... in the movie-dance-hall). The movie is really cool, def a big screen one. So monday through thursday=boring haha. Friday, was not christmas, it was Jonmas!! WHOOOO!! Except at my school... there it was definitely christmas. I got to help set up and run a 4 hour Christmas Extravaganza!! It had everything a birth-of-our-lord-and-saviour-spectacularrrrr should have: a "Mr. Santa and Mrs. Scantily-clad-girl-dressed-in-red pagent," a presentation of 4 of the more religious christmas songs mumbled by students who don't know the words, a traditional Thai Martial Arts demonstration with real swords, a christmas raffle, and obviously Thai pop songs. The martial arts show was rad. real rad. There were two performances, in the first both students had swords (nar nar, mangled, metal swords), and in the second one student had a bow-staff and the other had a pair of Tonfa (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tonfa). The first demonstration started with a solid 7 minutes of the students just sitting and walking around with their swords. They had this really high stepped walk and they each held their two swords in very theatrical "ready-to-strike" poses. I, being a jackass, had just started thinking "yup, Thai martial arts is all about performing ceremony until your enemy is bored into submission" when the two students ran at each other and began hacking towards each other with full force! It was choreographed and really impressive. They like kicked each other and jumped-over and ducked-under sword swings. really cool. The second act had the drama built into it.. which was weird but definitely fun. The kid with the Tonfas kept pretending he was a baby or something... i dunno. I do know that when they were attacking each other, it again was full force and really fast. very impressive.
Friday night I went partying for my birthday!!! WHOOO!! I met up with friends in the the center of bangkok and we ate some bomb Indian food, then proceeded to drink with ambition! ON MY BIRTHDAY!!! JONMAS!! My friend Johnny bought be this wooden frog that is really popular here. Its got ridges on its back and comes with a wooden rod. When you run the rod along the ridges slowly, the thing sounds just like a frog, its pretty amazing actually. If you run it a little faster the frog acts more like those percussion instruments that you hear in world music (i think you know what i'm talking about) and if you hit the frog on the ridges, it sounds like a cow-bell (think Don't fear the reaper.... will ferrill...you know). I also bought myself a gift, FIRE POI!! A "poi" is essentially (well mine is) a metal cylinder wrapped in some kind of fabric. The cylinder is at the end of a metal chain about as long as my arm with a small cloth handle at the other end. You use them in a pair. The idea, is that you dip them in Kerosene (unless you are in Thailand, where you use gasoline) and light them on fire, and swing them about in a festive manner. Ideally. I don't think i'll be lighting them any time soon. I have practised only a small amount since friday and have already hit myself in the arms and chest like its my job and have made the back of my head very tender to the touch. Also, last night I hit myself in the crotch, with both of them at the same time..... really really hard. I was rolling around on the ground for about ten minutes, ill spare you the rest of the details. Johnny watched me do it and laughed victoriously.... because I had laughed with enthusiasm when he did the same thing the day before. In summation, no fire for a while.
Friday night was great. Bars, clubs, late night falafel, getting home at 5:30 and skyping my parents to wish them a merry Jonmas while putting on my best "sober person" impersonation. Without a doubt, great birthday!
Saturday and Sunday I spent recovering and getting my apartment into shape for my new roommate!!! HOOOOORRAAAAHHh!! Marisa gets here in 4.5 hours. I am at work right now going crazy. Time could not move more slowly. It could try, but it would not be successful. Today was a good opportunity to try some of the things I wanted to try with my teaching. Mainly, releasing some control (or attempts at control) of the classroom. I say today was a good opportunity to try this because I could not care less today! haha The students finished their midterms last week and starting tomorrow we have 4 days off (during which I will be on a tropical island called Ko Chang). Why the school is even open today is beyond me (and that sentiment is shared with everyone except for the director of the school). The lesson plans go by weeks and, as this week only has one day, there is no lesson plan for today! I just got the students ready for what is coming next week. not complaining, just trying to pass the time! haha. ok Merry Christmas to all of you and I hope you will have a happy new year. I figure I should also include how thankful I am to have such awesome friends and family. I am really really loving this trip and I know it would not have been possible without all of you. So much love and thanks a bunches.

and you are now all caught up on the happenings of ashley watson's brother.

--jon

clubbin

Hey all,
So that touch of dodgy stomach that I mentioned in my last post turned into a full night of stomach cramps! not fun. Since then though the livin's been good. My classes for the rest of the week went fine and I went ice skating with some students on friday night after work.
On Thursday (i think) I stopped by the mall after work and had a look around. The Mall just opened about a week and a half ago and was nowhere near being done when Johnny and I started here. I can't remember if I have talked about this buildings construction yet but it has been one of the continuing sources of amazement to me here. People worked on this building for at least 18 hours of everyday! Well into the night and early in the morning the building was crawling with people. The structure itself is really tall. At any given time you would see people suspended hundreds of feet up, sitting on a wooden plank that was attached to rope at either end, working. No one wears helmets or straps in while working high up on planks or on the scaffolding. Instead, they pound this version of redbull called M-150 to help with the long hours. I am pretty sure that I have talked about M-150 before but in case I have not, it is banned in Europe because it has amphetamines in it. Three people died during the first week of construction of this mall. And there is at least one mall within a mile on both sides of this one. So, obviously I needed to see what was so special about this mall. At the top there is a bowling alley and an Ice skating rink. The bowling alley, named "Rhythmic Chic Bowl Club" is appropriately named as the comical combination of a nightclub and a bowling alley. On thursday Johnny and I stepped into the black-lit bowl-club and invaded some students games for a few frames, trying to wrap our heads around something so silly as a hip and chic bowling alley. It had really futuristic looking seating areas including those chairs you see in movies that look like giant eggs you can sit in... i think Dr. Evil had one in the first Austin Powers. Either way, seeing the bowl-club made me really want to experience the skate-disco.... which was also hilarious.
I dont know if it is funnier that they combined a skate rink with a night club or that someone thought it was a good idea to try and keep thousands of gallons of water in the solid state in the hottest country on earth, but the whole thing is a blasty. Equipped with a hip DJ, sexy costumes for the staff and little penguins on skis that you can rent for the little ones who are just learning (really really god damned adorable), the "Sub-Zero Ice Skate Club" (of which I am now a "member") has something for everyone. Again, futuristic lounge area for the voyeurs, swanky snack area for those who really dislike the feeling of having money in their wallets, and yes an inch and a half of water covering the ice that lets everyone differentiate between who has fallen and who will soon. The tiny rink also boasts two "death zones" where the finicky water holds out in liquid rebellion. These two areas are right on the main beltway of the outside edges and welcome all who can neither turn nor stop... which is most people. It was a great time and I left with my dress shirt and pants completely sopping wet on my right side. It was really fun teaching students how to ice skate and trying to show off the few tricks I have reserved from when I was little (thus the wet right side... "look, I can go BACKWARDS"....nope, i cant). I will say that two little things bugged me. 1. obviously there were guys there that were really good and tearing around the tiny ice rink. Thats all well and good but my students are not all very good and sometimes made erratic direction changes. Every time one of these jackasses buzzed my students and almost or actually did cause them to fall I wanted to kill them. The good news is that I apparently like my students enough to feel protective of them. They other thing is that as I am being continually ingrained into the school, I am getting more and more of the gossip. And too much of the gossip is about Johnny and I. One specific piece of gossip was that there was an informal task force that was monitoring us to make sure that we were not flirting with girl students. Now, I really appreciate this, cause I know how many westerners come over here and yada yada yada. AND I really appreciate that the "task force" knows that where Johnny and I come from giving "high fives" and agreeing to be in pictures with students is not flirting and they now trust us! good! But hearing all this has made me a lot more conscious of my actions in public (which again is good) but there was a girl who came skating and was pretty much stuck to the edge unless I helped her. Earlier, I told her I would teach her to skate. But then, there, I start to teach her to skate and I look up and there is the futuristic lounge area full of parents watching their kids, and I am in my work get-up and I can't help but be paranoid of how it might look to some of the conservative people in the crowd. In Thai culture, men don't touch women. If you remember I went to the ancient capitol a few weeks ago. There is a temple there that was built to honor a queen who died on a river trip trying to get there. She fell out of the boat and was drowning (prob cause she was covered in gold... vanity strikes again) but no man saved her because they couldn't touch ladies and she was a LADY. I suspect this has its roots in the whole women need to be pure BS so i'll go ahead and say misogyny strikes again.... but i digress. Back on topic, I want you to imagine me teaching (or trying to teach) a girl to ice skate without touching her. She kept reaching out and grabbing my arm so she wouldn't fall and I kept being like "well you'll never learn if you are always holding on to something!" haha. Of course I didn't just let her fall but I could tell that she was wondering why it was cool if the male students needed an occasional arm but she couldn't just hold on to make sure she wouldn't fall. Ah, again, I appreciate everyone's vigilance, and I am glad that I knew not to act in an offensive way... I guess Im just mad at the scumbags who gotta muck it up for everyone.

On saturday I bussed it down to pattaya (which is still really really gross by the way) and met up with my friends. We got a hostel and some food and cabbed it down to the next town where we all had tickets to "smileyfest" which is a one-day reggae festival. It was right one the beach! So awesome! There were these bars that were elevated up out of the water and you walked out to on a plank. Sweet! The beach was really cool cause you could walk out into the water a full football fields length and the water would still be mid-thigh! Weird! Most of the acts were actually ska not reggae (which is good cause I prefer ska) but the reggae they had was mostly old school and really solid! In general, Thai pop music is awful. If I ever dig out my ear drums with a crude wooden instrument, it would be to the whining, flat-pitch of Thai pop. Thai metal can be pretty cool but Thai rock is a little shaky. Thai ska however, is a winner!!! A delight! A tour-de-force that keeps you coming back for more! hahah Ska music in general is pretty theatrical and I think that is why it works well with Thai culture. who knows, i'm probably wrong, i dunno. What I do know, is that Thai Ska is as refreshing as a cool breeze on a hot summer's day! haha ok that's enough of those! haha. We got to the festival at 4:30 and for the most part I was dancing or swimming non-stop until we left at two. If you would like a ear-full of fantastic, check out the Super Glasses. They are a breath of fresh air! haha ok last one I promise... maybe. The only incident of the night is that my accident prone friend Stephanie (who has given me many opportunities to practice my EMT training) cut her foot on a rock and had to go to the hospital. I was not near her when it happened and actually didnt meet up with her and the other two that went with her until we were back at the hostel. I changed her bandage on sunday for her and it was nar nar. She is currently missing a fair amount of her big toe. oooph! she was less than happy about it (don't worry, she keeps a happy spirit about it though!)
This week is mid-terms at my school. I spend the mornings proctoring (aka watching the students take tests while pretending to not be completely spaced out) and the afternoons either on a computer or grading. It is kinda lame, but it is giving me a nice break from teaching to reflect and reanalyze my strategy. PLUS after this week my beautiful girlfriend gets here and I have a week off for the new year, which we will spend on a tropical island!! SWWEEEEEETTT!!

OK, now i have to go stand in a room for the next hour or two so when some important person walks through on the tour, the school can put its two westerners on display! fun fun fun fun fun! I get to be a window dressing! oh merry christmas to all and to all a good night!

and now, you are all caught up on the happenings of Ashley Watson's brother!

---JON!

pomp

Hey all,
So this past Thursday was Constitution Day in Thailand. It is a really cool day where pretty much everyone gets the day off work! It is a day where everyone sleeps in late and then converges on the few parks in Thailand to meet up with friends and BBQ and just have a nice relaxing time. At least, that was what I imagined it to be as I woke up at 5:30 in the morning to go to work. Luckily, it wasn't really work. The Siam computer and Language School Corporation has three campuses and a whole slew of "centers" that are all bundled underneath the "internal sector." For everyone who works in any of the campuses or for the internal sector, this past thursday was sport day. The staff of each grouping played the other staffs in different sports all day. The main sport of course was football (soccer) but there was also Basketball (which I played in) and a woman's only game of "_______". I am blanking on the name right now but it is a traditional Thai sport similar to basketball. The differences are, you don't dribble, you cannot move once you have the ball, and the basket is actually a basket that is held in the air by your teammate who is standing on a short stool or table. The game looked like it would be fun. However, on Siam's sport day, it looked BRUTAL! These women were trying to kill each other! I was watching it and cheering and just kinda enjoying how brutal it looked until it was time to play basketball and I was suddenly in the middle of a similar environment. There were refs, and sometimes they would call a foul. Most of the time everyone (myself included) just played slappy hands and it was fun (and others got to enjoy the brutality of it). There were also little games in between the big games (i.e. tug of war, musical chairs, potato sack race (which I dominated at BTW), and various other relay races). I actually found these the most fun. They were the only coed events and they stayed very light hearted. Each group had a cheer squad, and they all performed in a cheer competition, I thought my school's was the best but they didn't win. At the end of the day my school won "sport day" and we received much adulation and three big tins of peanuts and snacks. I shit you not. So all of that was about a third of sports day. The another third was a party at night. It started at 6pm and I left early at 10:30. Every school was to have a theme that everyone had to dress up for. People spent well over a day's pay on their costumes, and many of them were really really amazing. My school charged itself with "bringing back the past" so the women wore really crazy golden whoopdee doos on their heads and golden flashy gowns. The men either wore Thai silks or dressed exactly like Aladdin. I, not willing to spend any money on my costume, was either Indiana jones, butch cassidy, or early elvis depending on who you talked to. Each school or department had a dance that followed their theme that they performed on the big stage. Luckily, my school did an ancient Thai dance which I did not have to partake in (because indiana-cassidy-presley apparently was not in ancient Thailand). On entering the party, everyone got a gift that was chosen raffle style. Included in the gifts were flat screen TVs and a piece of jewelry worth like 20,000 Baht or something. I got a little purse. I'm in no way complaining, i was just really gunning for the TV haha. The last third of this day was pomp, pride, and more ceremonial butt scratching than you could shake a stick at. At 7:30, everyone was all formed up for a parade. By 8:20, the parade began to move. It snaked through the empty corridors of the school we were at which all of its members banging drums and smiling and waving. Then, we made it to the gymnasium where we circled in school by school to the delight of the owners of SIAM. It is a family run gig so the entire parade of a few hundred was only seen at the very end by about 14 people. There was ceremony after ritual throughout the entire day. Bows and songs and fireworks at night, there was a lot of it. Again, I am not complaining. Save for the flag ceremony that happens everyday before school, I like seeing the ceremonies (maybe not in large doses) because they are a good insight to the culture. I will complain about two small things. The first, is everyone was forced to wear really heavy polo shirts. Not a good exercise outfit when its a humid 2 million degrees out. Also, my school chose bubble gum puke pink as a color (cause it's franks color). The second is what Cal fans know as "the bench." I think it is safe to say, that Thai people should trusted with sound making devices about as much as Americans should be trusted with guns. Neither group can really control the power of their respective implements. My school was by far the most spirited. All day, our section of bleachers was equipped with two four-foot-tall speaker cabinets commanded by three microphones, two pairs of conga drums (which are played with drumsticks here so they are louder) and 130 staff members with cheers and all wearing white gloves that accentuated the hand movements. Yes, i said all... A day of this in a humid gymnasium with three other well equipped schools gave me a headache and (i feel) the right to complain. So, even in the face of noise and loosing a day off, sports day was sweeet!

friday and saturday I was really tired.

At 2 on saturday afternoon, I went to school because I had to chaperon students to a huge event dedicated to Frank. Frank is very old and in poor health. This event was put on to honor him, or wish him better health... or something. I don't know, actually. Either way, I am glad I went because what was described to me as an optional opportunity of a lifetime, was actually a mandatory school event. ha! I was told that I would be in an amazing palace/temple/golden thing and would see lots of amazing things and would see the queen but not the king (due to his poor health). I was also told that I not only would get in for free (usually 350 B) but i would get paid. "i'm in!!" I was also told that this event was so unique and amazing that there would be 10,000 people there. And there was, in fact there was well more than 10,000, all dressed in puke bubble gum (and me, back in the polo). Because of the size of the crowd it was good that the event was outside of a palace, a slightly smaller, less decadent one than the one I was told (don't get me wrong, it was still a palace). The main lack of foresight that the directors of my school had were that they did not think to reserve seating for the 1,000 students we were sending. And, as to be expected there was no seating. No one on the trip knew this until we had moved inch by inch into the crowd for about an 45 min. It was brazenly hot but the crowed (despite the fact that it was almost 7 by this point) was cheering as directed by a tiny remote control helicopter that was operated by a nerd-super-hero. There were several megatrons spaced throughout the massive crowed and a fair number of speakers. A group of us finally settled of to the side and sat through one half hour of the pomp. none of us could see the stage or any of the megatrons and most of us were standing. So, did the smart thing and walked around the food tents! I spent the whole night hangin out with a different groups of students. It was cool because I havn't spent time outside of school with really any students and it was nice to get to know more of them. I tried lots of good food (and some not so good food) and then, because no solid time was established for everyone to meet, we spent two hours trying to account for the last 100 students. Back at school I was handed 130 B and went home. All in all it was sweet.

I was supposed to go to another school event on sunday, but i was too tired (and not about to allow the school to swallow 3 days off in a row). The event on sunday was bowling. I question. Who schedules bowling-fundraiser for 7:30 on a sunday morning? Answer: the same person who "requires" that all staff go and marks the price up to 2,500 B from the usual 50B. classy!

In reading back through this post I am seeing a lot of sarcasm. So in the effort of full disclosure, I will end with where I am at right now. I left work early today. In frustration, I filled out my leave form (in blue) and peaced. While, I was starting to feel like I really was getting a hold on teaching and that I just needed to put more effort into making lessons fun, I now feel that I do not have a very good hold on teaching.... at least, teaching here in Thailand. The number of "routinely bad classes" I have has doubled over the past few weeks. I now distinguish my routinely good classes and when I am having a shitty day, they don't go well. If yall will remember, Johnny and I entered the school with celebrity. That made classes really easy. Then celebrity faded into novelty and classes were just challenging. Me being goofy enough made the classes different enough from the monotone microphone of their other classes to keep their attention. Now, I think it is fair to say that the novelty is fading and I am seeing that the way I want to teach (and the way I always saw teachers teaching) has its foundation in control. To a well behaved class I can give a very fun and engaging lesson and everyone will learn. As my novelty has been fading, behavior problems and plain rebelliousness have been on the rise. I have been asked to no longer lock students out of class (but I have started doing it again... shhhh) and have been trying to lay more heavily on the schools discipline department. Unfortunately, they are worthless. Most of their effort goes into stopping or preventing fights on campus and in the afternoon in the surrounding neighborhoods. The discipline people roam the halls during class hours, and teachers are supposed to be able to call on them to take students out of class. Twice now I have tried and twice now the same douche-bag has just laughed (which gets the students laughing) and offered an apology on behalf of a very unapologetic student. When I take students names to the discipline office, I can feel them shine me on as they write down the students ID numbers and a quick summary of what they did wrong.
When I first started with Siam, I was reminded of what I already knew. "Thai students don't fail, are not disciplined, and do not learn." I was instructed by the westerner to follow his three rules in order of importance "1. get paid 2. have fun 3. be engaging." Hearing all of this always made me laugh and I kinda nodded along (the american version of saving face) but inside I always hated all of it. I felt all of it was a cop-out and that there had to be a way to drive through it all. I still do hate all of it, but I am beginning to see the lesson behind it all. I do not have the answer yet, but I am supposing that it lies in a lesson that does not at all rest upon me having any "control" of the class. I imagine that the students will talk and use their phones but somehow learn at the same time. I do know that what I am trying right now is not working for me or most of my students, and that what many of the Thai teachers are trying is working even less. Hidden behind the Thai custom of "saving face" is the root for why power lines are always tangled swamps of danger, why construction workers die because there are no safety regs, and why the students at SBAC are learning far less than they could be. Culture is a big ship without a captain. It just kinda goes where it wants and try as I may, I can't rock the boat. But i will try to work with the boat! .... and will keep you posted on how that goes.
oh also, another reason I went home today is I think that the plate full of tentacles, rings, and arthropods that came instead of my "fried rice with chicken" gave me a small touch of dodgy stomach. No yacking so I wont call it food poisoning, but I havn't been away from the bathroom for more than ten minutes at a time for most of today.

and you are now all caught up on the happenings of Ashley Watson's brother... who must go to the toilet now.

--jon

stoked

Hey all,
So I am pretty sure my last blog was last wednesday. I'd check but... too.... lazy... Either way, last thursday I played basket ball with students and teachers after school and it was great fun. The students that are on the basket ball team here are goooood!
On Friday, after much struggle, Johnny and I were able to leave work an hour and a half early to get a head start on our 3 day weekend. This weekend was the kings birthday which also becomes fathers day for Thailand because he is the father of Thailand right now. While I am kinda on the subject, from now on, when speaking of his majesty I will call him frank. Because speaking anything less than shimmering praise of him can land you in serious jail here, my friends and I have given him the psuedonym "frank." It allows us to vent and doesn't offend anyone here. win frickin win baby. All week my town has been goin nutty for frankies b-day. The park by my house had two giant music stages and lots of booths selling food and random materialities. There were fireworks on several nights which I could see from my balcony. It was a pretty cool scene. Lots of little kids running around and just happy people laughing and listening to really random covers ranging from sade to the stones to lady gaga.
Less cool was how every morning of last week we "practiced" for the ceremony that we did on friday morning. whoooo. loong. also, kinda funny, i had to walk around without my shoes on for this ceremony that was first thing in the morning. The last thing i do before I leave the house is fill my socks with talcom powder so they dont stink (if you have ever lived with me you know what this is about). so, walking around this ceremony, i was leaving perfect, white powder footprints on the ground everywhere I went... and a big puddle of it wherever I sat. That and the white athletic socks didn't go over well. hahah. but i digress...
so friday we get out of work, pack and get on a bus to the bus terminal less than 5 miles as the crow flies away from my house. two hours later we get there and begin our 2 hour wait for our bus. From there though, traveling is sweet. the bus is comfy and I slept the entire way to Ban Phe (where i first lived here in Thailand). Once we are in Ban Phe we have a 15 min truck taxi ride to our hotel. By this point it was twelve thirty at night. There was no room in the cab so I jumped in the back. There were all these cool lights out to honor frank and the air was a very comfortable warm. There was a full moon out and the short ride was very very relaxing.
We got to the hotel, crashed, back up and on a ferry at 8:40 the next morning. The ferry ride to Ko Semet is less than 45 min but when you get to the island it feels like you are years away!! its soo rad. The island is a 5 km narrow spine that juts up out of the gulf of Thailand. It is national park of Thailand and is TRRRROOOOPICAL! It is surrounded by coral reefs and, for such a small island boasts an impressive amount of biodiversity. It has one main dirt road that traces the spine and is filled with ruts and sand pits and all sorts of things that make roads interesting. This main road has small paths that lead off of it to the many cove-protected beaches on the island. Most people stay within the first two coves of the ferry landing so our group of 7 was determined not to. Johnny and I rented motor scooters and cruised the island checking into all of the bungalows while the other 5 rested on a beach. This was my first time driving a moto and it is FUUUUN!! oh man! so great! we just followed the main road down the island stopping at every little cove to inquire about a bungalow and explore. After a few hours, we found a winner. We stayed at a beach called Ao Thien, i don't know if it is a direct translation, but in english it is called the candlelight beach (because at night, the restaraunts set out a bunch of candles... on the beach..... and light them!) In general the island seems like a honeymoon destination... it made Johnny, Cara and I all miss our GFs very much. (p.s. sidenote.... my gf marisa is coming to Thailand on DEC 28th. WHOOOOOT!!!!! STOOOOKED!!!) ok, back to backs. Our beach looks like something out of a corona commercial. Every picture you take of the beach is postcard worthy. The water is torquise and clear, the sand is white and there are straw huts and a few small beahside bars and people a few people just sun tanning and playing on beach. In some sections, there are trees that grow out of the shallow sea, and from them hang hammocks. Maybe coolest of all, we were far enough south that from our beach it was a 5 minute walk to the other side of the island (the other side was much less inhabited and had much better coral reefs). For the rest of saturday we just relaxed, did some mild exploring, and tried to really take in our surroundings. Saturday night we played cards and had some drinks on the beach. I got to play with Poi! It's the stuff that fire dancers twirl around. The guys that lived there were really really good at it... I was less good. Then again, after having a few drinks, one should probably be careful when swinging around a big staff that is crazy on fire on both ends. Either way, it really made me want to get better at it, it feels really cool and the fire makes a really cool noise if you get it going fast.... but i'll prob practice sans alcoholic beverages.
sunday we got up and ate a relaxing breakfast, when for relaxing swims (i saw a legit blowfish!), those of us (myself not included booya!) who forgot sunscreen got less relaxing burns. We lounged for a bit and then three of us went on a speed boat snorkel tour of the island. You could tell that all the tour boats bring everyone to the same places so they were crowded, nevertheless, it was still really really rad. We went all the way around the island and got to see all the beaches and really really fancy schmancy resorts. While the snorkeling spots were at the surface crowded with lifevest-clad non-swimmers, if you pitched down like 15 feet you were alone and surrounded by life and fecundity and radness. sweet!
after the snorkel spots we stopped at a "big fish farm" which was much more like a "big fish prison" it was all these floating planks around squares of water that were encapsulated by nets beneath. You bought these tiny feeder fish for about 30 cents and went lock by lock feeding whatever came to the surface. In one lock there was a few sharks (a couple blacktip and one that looked like a thresher but smaller) and a bunch of sea turtles. That was by far the favorite. What was sad was that if the animals were not showing themselves enough, a worker would pull the net out of the water, forcing the animals up. sad, but really cool to see (guilt). the other locks had other sharks and exotic big fish. there were a couple with groupers and some with what looked like tuna but was labeled differently. There were large angelfish and some really fast, crazy fish that i don't know the name of.
that night we went to a more crowded part of the island looking for parties. It was pretty dead haha. I was fine with that though. I was tired and dead party scene = early sleep! haha.
next morning, got up, lounged. more swimming, and said our tearful goodbyes.
The trip back was cramped but quick. The only other thing to note was that yesterday we had our longest all-Thai work meeting yet. for over 5.5 hours I had no idea what anyone was saying! whooo!

and now, the obligitory culture piece. This time, the cultural observation found me, not the other way around. In order to be able to leave work an hour early this past friday I had to fill out a leave form. It seemed a little uneccesary but I was itching to get out so I didn't ask questions. After a definitely uneccesary ordeal to obtain the last two forms Johnny and I were pretty much out the door. As we turned in the paperwork Johnny's was looked over and approved while mine met instant disproval. I had written it in black ink. I have lived here in thailand for well over a month now and this was the first I had heard that people here are not allowed to write in black ink because black pen ink is reserved for Frank! Since then, I have definitely noticed that everything is either blue or red pen ink.... but before that all of my lesson plans, all of the paperwork I have done... everything has been in black pen! I had no idea because nobody told me... until now. As there was no remaining forms and my coworkers could easily see how badly I needed to escape work I was allowed to just scrawl over my black ink with blue ink. As most of you have seen my handwriting when I write something just once, ill leave it to your imagination how bad it looked after I went over it again. But still, after it was accepted happily! And I got to leave!!!!

ok, you are all fully updated on the happenings of ashley watson's brother! (oooh schnap it stuck! craazy)

Experience

Hey all,
Sooooo, I am trying to think about all that has happened since I last wrote. So that was a Sunday. That next day (Monday I believe!) I had an interesting cultural experience here. To get a work permit here I had to get a physical. I don’t know about you, but this was the first physical I ever got where the whole cost was under 7 American dollars. It was a small street-side clinic with a total staff of one receptionist, one nurse, and one doctor. It had 4 examination rooms and a large back area but one of the exam rooms and the entire back area were cluttered up with “stuff.” Old medical equipment, random things… stuff! Also, the rooms were not true rooms, they were more like tall cubicles but with drywall instead of an upholstered metal frame. The doors into each “room” all had a large glass window taking up most of the door’s surface area… which would have mattered more if they closed the door when they did exams… which when I was there they did with maybe 30% of patients. So its fair to say that the first thing I noticed was a structural lack of privacy. Not a biggie for me but I imagine for some, maybe the Muslim gal that was there for a pre-natal visit. I’d say that the next thing I noticed was that it was a wee bit dingy. Really not bad, just a bit of rust on the metal, a bit mold on the walls and a general sense of organization based around the idea of clutter. It definitely made me feel spoiled by what is the standard of cleanliness in the states… buuuut, it also made me think that some rust on a tin here and there is not that big a deal and, in looking at the real cost of both the US system and the Thai system, the Thai system is much much more accessible to the average uninsured person. Also, in talking to people here, there appears to be a pretty good system to provide some kind of healthcare to those who can’t afford it. So, the physical itself was pretty basic. Look, listen, feel, the exact same steps if you are in a burning house haha. They took a small amount of blood using a syringe (not a butterfly needle and vacutubes and all that other hooplah). There was no tape and the nurse did not wear gloves. Interestingly, these last two things reminded me of a blood draw I had from a prominent scientist/MD, except this nurse did not whip the needle around in my arm (sorry, this is getting gratuitous). The blood draw was for syphilis and the rest of the exam was just as basic. The doc spoke English and the nurse and receptionist enjoyed laughing at the tiny amount of Thai I can now butcher. Before I leave the topic of the physical I want to send a little reminder to all travelers. When any needle is going to be put into you, be sure that you watch them open a NEW NEEDLE! Not just a cleaned one, NEW! If they don’t have a new needle you prob don’t need a blood draw that bad. I really want to emphasize this because I forgot to haha! I know, classy. So in the days following all I could think about was the three old needles that were sitting out in my exam room on a dirty towel. I have talked to the people I work with several times about this and they assured me that this clinic uses fresh needles every time. Still, not worth the stress.
Before I forget, it is worth noting that I talked to the people I worked with multiple times about it and was persistent each time. I want to make sure this doesn’t come across as denigrating to the Thai people but I have noticed a cultural phenomenon. If you ask a person a yes or no question and they either do not fully understand you OR don’t know, they will say “yes.” Furthermore, if you ask them an open ended question and there is some confusion, the answer will invariably come back with whatever sounds the nicest. Maybe not all people, maybe not 100% of the time... I have noticed a trend. (to quote Dave Chappelle, I do not believe in generalizations, but I DO believe in statistics…). I never get the sense that it is a malevolent thing, and for that matter I don’t think anyone is trying to be nice in a misguided way. I think it is just a thing, probably related to the “not loosing face” thing! Whatever it is, it has wasted more of my time here than I care to really keep track of. For example, find a friend and act out this fun little skit:

Me: “Excuse me, ka-toe-KAP, does this bus (me pointing), number 55, haa-sip-haa, does it go to Rattinatibet?” (that is the street I live on)
Very nice Thai person: “Yes, yes, Rattinatibet. This bus will take you there!!! (emphatically and very assuring-sounding)”
Me: “oh, thank you, thank you, Kap-coom-KAAP (with much bowing and wei-ing)”
----one hour later-----
Me: “Where the hell am I??????” (answer: nowhere near Rattinatibet.)

And after re-reading the skit I feel like I should make sure that I am clear in re-iterating that I am not shit-talking. I came here, both to Thailand and to Bangkok, knowing next to nothing about anything. The huge amount about both Thailand and Bangkok that I have learned has come almost completely from Thai people and I am forever in their debt for taking the time to help me and for letting me live in their home. And, if any of you see someone today that looks lost, go ask if they need help. If there is a language barrier, practice your pictionary skillz. If they aren’t lost they will look at you funny, but if they are, you will really really help them… and its easy!! (note: might as well say it, go with your guy on this, safety first!!!)

So, I am almost two pages into this post and I’ve covered one day! Haha but in my defense, I have included a whole mess of exclamation points!!!!!!!! You’re welcome!!!!!!!!

Tuesday through Thursday passed with the comfort and speed of routine. I have some great classes and some terrible classes. A class that is great one week could be a clan meeting the next. I have def noticed that if I am tired or not feeling well, my classes stand a much better chance of being disasters. It is amazing how much the subtle things on my end really affect the students. Also, I have to teach some really really lame and boring business topics!!! How do I make that fun you ask?? I invented a game called Monsters vs. Aliens (yes, Marisa, Dev and Larry, you can all take partial credit for this). Essentially, I divvy the students into small groups and give each group a very small writing assignment. Then I further divvy the groups up into two teams (monsters and aliens) and I call out one group from both teams and have them race to write their sentences on the board. Before the game, I draw a monster and an alien on the board. The character of the team that looses each round looses a limb. I draw lots of gore and the team that finally looses their head is the loosing team. I totally thought that high school aged students would be bored of this game by now… but no. Thai students are very competitive and get very loud. What’s good is that this game gets even the worst “too-cool-for-school-er” involved and amped. Sweet.
On Friday my friend Shirley was in Bangkok and came to my school!! Shirley is a great friend from CAL and it was awesome to be able to walk her around school and teach her what I have picked up of Thai culture! It was a little weird because even though I checked with multiple people before she came to make sure there were no weird rules (“yes, yes, it will be fine, no problems!”), sure enough, there were weird rules haha! I could take her to see floors 2-6 of both buildings and walk her around, but we could not sit in one place above the ground floor. Huh? And yes, I was informed of this procedure through a small note dropped next to me while Shirley and I were sitting in the teachers office on the 2nd floor…. HUH?!?!? Either way, it was really cool having my students introduce themselves to someone I know from back home! Friday night we went out to a bar with some of my friends in Bangkok and on Saturday we went to a really big market. I have been to it before, it’s called the “Jet-chu-CHAT” market and it’s pretty dense. The whole thing is kind of a stimulation overload. There is a pet section, I really really wanted to buy a dog…. But I didn’t. I did get stabbed by a hedgehog that I was petting (I know, why would I pet something that is covered in spikes…. Go on youtube and watch a video called nom nom nom nom and another called boogie boogie hedgehog… you’ll wanna pet one too, but you probably shouldn’t… they’ll get ya)
Sadly, Shirley had to leave around mid-day on Saturday. After she left, I got on a bus to a tiny town called “Panat Nikkom” where two of my friends were staying. We went out to a little coffee shop that served beer and I got to meet a few of their American co-workers. They all seemed like cool people! The next morning we were off to a beach in a town called “Chom Buri.” After taking a sardine-packed bus, and a forty minute song-tao (a truck with benches) we get to this beach only to find that there is a big race happening. It was kinda weird to see these nascars tear through the course that wrapped through the city. At the same time it was pretty cool. We were able to walk along the coast for a bit and found what would have been a private beach if a house had been on the empty lot next to the beach. I took a little walk to explore the coast but aside from that, we didn’t see anyone else on our side of the coast. Just a few barking dogs and the occasional roar of racecars redlining and back-firing, it was sweeeeet.
I got back to Bangkok and back home without problem, by myself (well, I got a huge helping hand from a few kids that led me to the bus station and talked to the teller so I could buy a ticket…. But I talked to them by myself, pretty much!!!) Either way, I felt even more like I got a grip on this city and its ass backwards transportation systems! Booya! Work Monday and Tuesday was uneventful. Booya.

And now you are all caught up on the happenings of Ashley Watson’s Brother. (uh, oh, did I just invent a signature sign-off line!?!?!? And does that sign-off line reference the title of the blog!!?!?!? Oooooh shit! Lets see if it sticks!)